Blue top from gift; Keys keys keys necklace from Accessorize;
Blue and brown quilted bowling bag from Mango; Black wedges from H&M
So a couple of days ago, I had dinner with 2 of my friends from my Beijing days. One was my roommate during my one year stint there. The other was a friend I met during my second semester, who was on a semester-abroad program from his US university. And yes, we’re all Chinese-Filipinos. Putting that aside, we were there as a sort of reunion-slash-bonding because my friend (the one from the US) was on winter vacation and was back in the Philippines and was leaving a few days after. We all hadn’t seen much of each other in over half a year, so it was great just talking about the good old Beijing days, and the future as well.
One was working. One was going back to studying and was thinking of getting an internship. And then there was me, the one was going back to studying in China. Looking at the 3 of us was looking at my younger self watching The Joy Luck Club over and over again, wondering when I would reach that age where me and my friends would be discussing our lives and how we’d all be headed in different directions. It’s really funny how things pass by so quickly. Part of me believes that I’m still that 13 or 14 year old who was in a hurry to get to 15 and 16, and another part of me can’t believe I’m turning 24 this year. It’s really fascinating yet aggravating at the same time, to have time pass by so quickly.
This line of thought brings me back to a dinner I had with my ICA-AdMU girls a while back. It made me think, a couple of years from now, we would all be having dinner or lunch together just like that time, but with our husbands and kids.
This decision of mine to go back to China for another semester, coupled with seeing friends growing up and moving to other countries, as well as seeing friends get married or engaged, just further underlines the reality that we’re all moving away and leaving our nests. It’s a bit scary yet exciting at the same time, especially when we know that there are certain realities that we have to face alone. Just a few years ago, I was still nestled snuggly in my parents’ embrace, protected from the world around me. But seeing the me now, taking on the world one language at a time, deciding to go to China alone and continue with my studies and hopefully to eventually find work, it’s a thrilling and frightening experience.
Deep down, I still feel like a kid. I feel so naive and unsure of the world. But part of me knows that soon, whether I like it or not, reality will catch up and force me into the big bad world.
You know, sometimes I wish time would just stop, that I can enjoy whatever it is that I have and am experiencing right now. Sometimes I wish, things would just remain the way they are. Like how relationships with friends are, or how cute little cousins or nieces and nephews are better as babies and toddlers than when they are all grown up. I wish so many things will last forever, yet I wish that I can have many more of these same experiences for the future.
Oh reality. I feel like I’m me, but I’m looking at a me that I’m not familiar with.