Never Good Enough

K.C. Concepcion – Updated Version of Me

I know I can be so awkward at times
I can be insecure
You can call me naive, you can say I’m a child
You can say I’m so immature
For me to say that I love you now
But you’ll see I will prove somehow
I can be so much more

Someday there’s gonna be
An updated version of me
And somehow you’re gonna see
An updated version of me

And there would be no reasons then
To tell me that I’m just a friend
I’ll be a much better person, you’ll see
An updated version of me

Maybe I should grow a much nicer nose
A much prettier set of eyes
Maybe I should wear more colorful clothes
If it’d help you to realize
I’ve never been this in love before
Never wanted to change at all
Now I’m willing to try…

Someday there’s gonna be
An updated version of me
And somehow you’re gonna see
An updated version of me
And there would be no reasons then
To tell me that I’m just a friend
I’ll be a much better person, you’ll see
An updated version of me…

Maybe then you’d realize
Or maybe you won’t
If and when that happens
I’d still be the lucky one…

‘Coz someday there’s gonna be
An updated version of me
And somehow you’re gonna see
And updated version of me
And someday you would realize
You’ve made awful compromise
And you’d wished that you had what you missed
‘Coz you’d miss a much better person
An updated version of me
You will see…

I’ve been hearing this a lot over the radio the past couple of days. Listening to this song over and over again, I’ve realized that though I’m not quite fond of the way the song is sung (the tune is a very Filipino-ish tune, and is very common in many of the songs nowadays), I have fallen deeply in love with the lyrics. Or well, the song deeply reflects a lot of things I’ve been feeling.

In some way, I think each person goes through something like this. At one point or another in our life, we are immature and childish, and sometimes we experience things that may cause us pain because of this. But later on, the more we grow older and the more we experience pains in our life, we mature and we learn from our mistakes and eventually become better people. As this song suggests, an updated verion of us. We become updated versions of people we formerly were.

People have always said, not to look upon with regret, the things that have come to pass. These things, though harsh and painful as they seem, help us to become the person that we are today. Yet despite that, human nature seems to overcome such philosophical truths, and we sometimes look upon our past with regret. Me, I do that a lot. I always seem to look at my past, and regret the many things I consider to be mistakes in my life. It’s wrong to always feel that way, but  it seems to me that I rarely look at the present. It’s either the past or the future that I dearly hold on to, and when I’m living in the present, I can’t help but think about the future or the past. It’s so very wrong. It’s such a horrid habit.

Which reminds me, I just watched Click the other day, and then 13 going on 30 yesterday. Two movies that definitely represent the emotions that I’m going through right now. So overwhelmed and aggravated. One never feels that they are good enough at present, or they never feel that anyone else or anything else they’re going through is good enough. Humans are such shallow and selfish people, really.

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6 comments on “Never Good Enough

  1. If we didn’t go through the things that we went through, took the paths that we took, we wouldn’t be where we are ‘today’. And if you’re feeling good about your ‘today’, there’s no such thing as regret. i.e: I agree. =)

    Try sorting yourself out and getting things done. One thing at a time. One step at a time. And maybe you’ll feel less overwhelmed. Feel less constrained and overloaded. *hugs*

    • Hm. I wonder if it’s humanely possible that regret not exist. It’s all baby steps, really it is. 😦 Sigh, thanks so much Khyoon. *hug*

      There are times that I wish this was all over, but then again, in the future, I’ll be looking back at this and wondering what happened. Such is life. Trying to take it one step at a time. One task at a time.

      • Hm. We all feel regret, but I believe it’s just a temporary feeling. It’s only when we hang onto the thing which we think we regret is when it hangs onto us causing unnecessary thoughts and feelings of uneasiness. Like “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have taken that” or “Oh, maybe that was a bad choice afterall”.

        If we focus too much on something and not our surroundings, we could easily walk into a pole that was right in front of us. Or we could miss out on the scenery, to put it another way. =)

        To me, it looks like you’re in that “it’s finally come to an end” gloomy stage. The end of something, and the start of something else, in conclusion something that really hits you hard mentally. Growing up sucks, doesn’t it? =P

        ALSO. SEE. The glasses suit you finnnee. :3

  2. @Khyoon: I want to learn to let go of this regret, I really do. Sometimes, it just sneaks in, my wishing too much on a past that I can’t take back. Makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with me. 😦

    I hope you’re right in saying that I seem to be in that kind-of stage. And yes, growing up sucks. I wish I could be a kid again! XD

    P.S. Thanks ever so much. Haha, I sorta miss my old frames though. Mint Green is just such an awesome color. X3

  3. 是~。。。不过你要记住,我们不可以改变我们的过去,只能改变我们的未来。所以不开心的事就别想太多了。

    是~。。。讲就容易啦。想多点开心的事吧,别告诉我最近没有开心事发生拉。别告诉我you’ve got nothing to look forward to。做多一点令你开心的事吧。听多点令你放松的歌。出去散散心。解决你不开心的烦恼吧。跟亲人和朋友谈谈你的事,最少你的心没那么重了。你要用另一个角度来看看,别老想是个后悔。

    不想这样子就做点事儿吧。

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