Crazy dreams.

One thing I find absolutely funny about my life, is my dream. I have always dreamed of having my own book or series published. It probably started when I began addictive reading , which started with the Sweet Valley series. As compared to other books my mother exposed me to in my younger years, Sweet Valley was the first real series that I could actually relate myself to. A great deal of Western-influence in my childhood of course. Now of course, I am a bit more realistic. I would want a novel published, and if possible, also a book of poetry which is an art I have come to love in recent years. Sure, if I could still be creative enough to have my own series published, I wouldn’t turn down an offer if it was given to me.

The thing I find absolutely funny about my dream is how my present course, has no relation to my dream. In fact, they aren’t even of the same language. Hilarious isn’t it? I’m presently a junior at the Ateneo de Manila University, mastering in Chinese Studies. The only thing remotely similar between writing and my course is that my chosen track is Humanities. That’s basically it. Other than that, the language barrier holds a distinct line between the two. Other people have often told me that I could write in Chinese, which I’ve come to consider. But looking back at my history, and my childhood, there is a very slim chance that a person like me could write as well in Chinese as she could in English. Still, if my dream had any relation to writing at all, why not the Creative Writing course offered in my university. Sometimes, I ask myself that same question. Even after I had shifted from European Studies – Chinese Studies (since the latter wasn’t offered as a major till my sophomore year), I still feel as if the course I am taking now has no great impact as to the field I wish to involve myself in.

Many times I’ve wondered what the reason is that I had decided to take this track. I have no ideas of shifting to another course, and I have no doubts as to my desire to improve my Mandarin. But there are days that I wish I could have shifted so I could have bettered my writing skill, and I could have networked my way into a promising Writing degree. I believe I could have. But of course, there should be no regret as to how I’ve decided to choose my path. I’m trying to be as optimistic as possible, which I’ve been lacking in for quite some time now.

A few years from now. I think I’ll look back on my dream and laugh. Not because it was silly in any way, but because despite the enormous differences in the course I’ve decided to take in life, I still ended up fulfilling my dream all along. By then, I would also laugh because I would have taken my Chinese to a whole new level than I ever expected it to go. Even if my future does not lead to a mastery of Mandarin, I’m sure that I would have learned many things that many Chinese in the Philippines have never even tackled, and for that I am very proud. I didn’t forget my roots, and my history, and my identity.

Always think on the positive side. Because dreams do become reality, it just takes a crazy person like me, to make my impossible dream, possible.

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